Well if I can't have a little rant on my blog then when can I?
Blocking the road on my way home this evening was a double parked car with the back door wide open and a bloke leaning in. It was apparent that he was fitting his (or someone elses?) child in to the back seat - from the road side not the pavement side because this is the sensible thing to do ..... if you want to introduce your child to danger at an early age. Parents of budding skydivers, bungee-jumpers and other extreme sports please take note! I sat and waited patiently for 3 then 4 then 5 minutes while he pissed about with his scrawny bony arse poking out of his car......it was obvious that the concept of clicking a safety belt was new to him and far far too difficult to master in such a short time.
I was going to be late for an appointment so I hooted to let him know I was there... a 'genteel short polite' toot I'll have you know, not an 'in-your-face bad tempered' hoot! Well he must have been losing the battle with the safety belt because when he finally pulled his shaven head from the car interior, his rat-like features were quite pink.... not a good look with ginger stubble, clashed dreadfully! I just sat there waiting. He took a few seconds to check that I wasn't a body builder, a Crip, Blood or David Hayes and once establishing that I was a lone woman commenced such a bravado testosterone- fuelled performance of masculinity it would have made William Wallace jealous and George Michael swoon. Shouting and swearing and waving his arms (once he'd dragged his knuckles off the floor) at me from the middle of the road - he was a sight to behold. I don't think it helped that I have quite a nice fast sports car ..... the kind that if I was a man, you may think compensated for a tiny appendage. This guy had car envy together an appendage problem (it was stuck to his head).
Well, I was quaking in my boots...not! I mouthed back to close the door and move out of the road so I could drive past. A woman dared to answer back?! No no no....women are to be seen and not heard apparently and he didn't like this deviation at all!. He came closer and leant on my bonnet (with bothpaws hands no less!) and shouted even louder. Bless!.....and although his masculine price was naturally of the utmost importance to me, I really did have to get a move on as I had frozen food in the boot as well as an appointment! He was beginning to attract some attention by this time and I obviously didn't looked either scared or impressed enough (I think the look I managed to convey was boredom!) so he continued with his impromptu demonstration of stringing more than two swearwords together. I picked up my mobile to take a picture - I think he liked this because he gave everyone a commentary "She's using her mobile while driving!" This was nearly right except (1) I wasn't driving - I was waiting for King Kong to move his ass out of the road and (2) I was taking his picture.... but he got the mobile phone bit right. CLICK (I wonder if he's worked this out yet!)
Anyway, since he was enjoying performing to an audience so much that I switched my headlights on to full beam so he could benefit from the full floodlight/super trooper effect - I also sounded my horn continuously to rustle up a bigger audience for him. I guess he must have got stage fright at this point because he very quickly walked to the side of the road with his head down ..... perhaps he was returning to the child he had abandoned in his car or maybe he was taking a bow and giving out autographs.
I did think about putting the photo of the driver of the dark blue Vauxhall Astra registration SA04 *** on here but decided against it........I genuinely hope he calmed down before driving with his child in the car with him (poor child having that for a father) and I also hope that next time he has a fit of road rage, the person he thinks is a lone woman turns out to be an psychotic ex-Hells Angle (male!) with long hair and an axe in his boot!
Blocking the road on my way home this evening was a double parked car with the back door wide open and a bloke leaning in. It was apparent that he was fitting his (or someone elses?) child in to the back seat - from the road side not the pavement side because this is the sensible thing to do ..... if you want to introduce your child to danger at an early age. Parents of budding skydivers, bungee-jumpers and other extreme sports please take note! I sat and waited patiently for 3 then 4 then 5 minutes while he pissed about with his scrawny bony arse poking out of his car......it was obvious that the concept of clicking a safety belt was new to him and far far too difficult to master in such a short time.
I was going to be late for an appointment so I hooted to let him know I was there... a 'genteel short polite' toot I'll have you know, not an 'in-your-face bad tempered' hoot! Well he must have been losing the battle with the safety belt because when he finally pulled his shaven head from the car interior, his rat-like features were quite pink.... not a good look with ginger stubble, clashed dreadfully! I just sat there waiting. He took a few seconds to check that I wasn't a body builder, a Crip, Blood or David Hayes and once establishing that I was a lone woman commenced such a bravado testosterone- fuelled performance of masculinity it would have made William Wallace jealous and George Michael swoon. Shouting and swearing and waving his arms (once he'd dragged his knuckles off the floor) at me from the middle of the road - he was a sight to behold. I don't think it helped that I have quite a nice fast sports car ..... the kind that if I was a man, you may think compensated for a tiny appendage. This guy had car envy together an appendage problem (it was stuck to his head).
Well, I was quaking in my boots...not! I mouthed back to close the door and move out of the road so I could drive past. A woman dared to answer back?! No no no....women are to be seen and not heard apparently and he didn't like this deviation at all!. He came closer and leant on my bonnet (with both
Anyway, since he was enjoying performing to an audience so much that I switched my headlights on to full beam so he could benefit from the full floodlight/super trooper effect - I also sounded my horn continuously to rustle up a bigger audience for him. I guess he must have got stage fright at this point because he very quickly walked to the side of the road with his head down ..... perhaps he was returning to the child he had abandoned in his car or maybe he was taking a bow and giving out autographs.
I did think about putting the photo of the driver of the dark blue Vauxhall Astra registration SA04 *** on here but decided against it........I genuinely hope he calmed down before driving with his child in the car with him (poor child having that for a father) and I also hope that next time he has a fit of road rage, the person he thinks is a lone woman turns out to be an psychotic ex-Hells Angle (male!) with long hair and an axe in his boot!
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